HD is Here NowŠNot!High Definition Television Is Not for the Faint

From the moment I got my first glimpse of HD images many years ago, I've been savoring the thought of having HDTV in my home. But until very recently, HDTV sets were hideously expensive (over $9000 for a 32" set) and HDTV signals were practically non-existent. Add to
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that the fact that only two years prior I'd finally cajoled my wife into accepting the purchase of a very expensive 53" Sony XBR that now dominates our family room. After forking out thousands for that set, and even more for the custom furniture we designed to contain it, there was no way in hell she was going to go for the inevitable HDTV upgrade. But darn it -- I wanted my HDTV!

Flash forward three years. It's a Sunday evening and the whole family has settled down to watch a DVD on the big Sony, when all of a sudden -- poof! With a snap, crackle and puff of smoke, the big screen suddenly went black -- which wasn't all that unwelcome given the crap my kids had rented from Blockbuster. After several minutes fiddling with the set, it became obvious that some critical electronic component had taken a dive. And though I felt so ashamed at the time, all I could think of was "Please God! Let it be fatal!"

Well, the Sony went off to the shop and never came back. As they say, when one door closes, another opens -- and I bolted out the door to the Good Guys to buy a new HDTV.

After spending two hours searching for a set that fit my budget and had a hope of fitting into my existing TV furniture, I finally settled on 55" rear projector. Now all I needed to know was how to get an HDTV signal into my home. Luckily, there were two salesman nearby, so I posed the question to both of them:

ME
"How do I get HDTV into my home?"

SALESMAN 1
Where do you live?

ME
Dana Point -- near the beach.

SALESMAN 1
Nah. No way. You'll never get L.A. signals down there.

SALESMAN 2
Hold on. He might get them. Can you see Mount Wilson
from your home?

ME
Maybe with the Hubble telescope.

SALESMAN 2
I mean, do you have "line-of-sight" to Mount Wilson?

ME
How would I know? It's never come up in conversation.

SALESMAN 2
Well, you'll just have to put a UHF antenna on
your roof and give it a try.

ME
An antenna? Are you serious? Doesn't my cable provider ...

SALESMAN 1
Nope. Can't get HDTV through cable.

ME
What about my satellite dish?

SALESMAN 1
Do you have a round dish or an elliptical dish?

ME
I don't know -- I've never looked. I think it's round.

SALESMAN 2
Ah! You'll need a new dish.

ME
Really? So if I buy the new dish, will I get HDTV?

SALESMAN 1
Y
eah. Two channels -- HBO and HDNET.

ME
Two? That's it?

SALESMAN 2
You can get Showtime, as well -- but you'll need a
third "LNB" on your dish.

ME
I need three LNB's? What's an LNB?

SALESMAN 2
A Low-Noise Block Converter, it plugs into your
multi-switch.

ME
A multi-what? Wait a minute, what about the networks?

SALESMAN 2
Can't get the networks on the satellite. That's why
you need the antenna on your roof.

ME
So I need a dish and an antenna?

SALESMAN 2
Yup.

ME
So -- if I get the new dish with three LNB's, and
a multiswitch, and a UHF antenna, and I put all this
on my roof ...

SALESMAN 1
Then you'll get HD -- as long as you've got a receiver.

ME
The TV already has a receiver, doesn't it?

SALESMAN 1
Nope. Not the one you're buying.

ME
What kind of TV doesn't have a receiver? Isn't
receiving the whole point?

SALESMAN 1
Most HDTV's don't include receivers -- including
the one you're buying.

ME
Then why am I buying it?

SALESMAN 2
It has a standard analog tuner for regular TV. It doesn't include an HDTV receiver.

ME
I don't want to watch regular TV. I hate regular TV.
I want HDTV.

SALESMAN 1
No problem -- just buy an external HDTV receiver -- then you're stylin'.

ME
All right -- let me get this straight. I buy the
new dish, right?

SALESMAN 1
Right.

ME
And the UHF antenna?

SALESMAN 1
Right.

ME
I install them on my roof?

SALESMAN 1
Yep.

ME
Then, I buy an HDTV receiver?

SALESMAN 1
Yup. Gotta have one.

ME
Then I'll get HDTV?

SALESMAN 2
Right! Would you like to hear about our extended warranty?

ME
Don't push it.

And so it came to be that I became the proud owner of a new HDTV with all the required paraphernalia. All I had to do now was install the new dish and UHF antenna on the roof! Since it was too late in the day to start those projects -- and because I was dying to show my wife and kids how great HDTV looked, I decided that a temporary installation of the antenna was in order. That way, we could watch HDTV that night! I'd be a hero!

After assembling the antenna, I realized I needed some kind of mast to mount it to. Eureka! I grabbed two brooms and a stepladder from the garage. I sawed off the broom parts and duct-taped the two sticks together. Then I taped the antenna to the sticks and mounted the unwieldy contraption to the top of the stepladder. Not pretty -- but hopefully, effective!

After dragging my new invention into the backyard, I ran a wire from the antenna through the living room French doors, past the kitchen and into the family room where the new TV was located. Then I gathered my wife and two sons and plunked them down in front of the TV. I dimmed the lights, turned the TV on, tuned to the digital stations and -- nothing! Damn! Maybe the antenna needed some minor tweaking. But I needed help. I grabbed a pair of walkie-talkies from the garage and tossed one to my wife.

WIFE
What the hell am I supposed to do with this?

ME
I've put the setup menu on the screen. Just watch the
signal strength meter and let me know when I've got
the antenna pointed correctly. I'll be in touch on the
walkie-talkie.

WIFE
Oh, my God -- you're serious.

ME
OKAY! I'M IN THE BACKYARD NOW! CAN YOU HEAR ME? OVER!

WIFE
Yes I can hear you. Stop screaming, you idiot.

ME
ALL RIGHT, I'M TURNING THE ANTENNA! HOW'S IT LOOK?

WIFE
The same.

ME
WHAT ABOUT NOW?

WIFE
Nothing.

ME
OKAY THEN! WHAT ABOUT NOW?

WIFE
Still nothing. Can I go now?

ME
NO YOU CAN'T GO! I NEED YOUR HELP! WHAT ABOUT NOW?

WIFE
Wait! Something's happening! Okay, it's at fifty
percent! Can I go now?

ME
NOT YET! IT'S GOTTA BE ABOVE 60 PERCENT OR IT
WON'T WORK! WHAT ABOUT NOW?

WIFE
What'd you do? It's gone back to zero!

ME
WHAT ABOUT NOW?

WIFE
STOP! THAT'S IT! It's at ninety percent. Lock it down!

ME
I can't lock it down. Maybe you'd better come out
here. I think I need your help.

WIFE
(arriving in the backyard)
Have you gone completely insane? What are you doing?

I was holding the stepladder above my head at a 45-degree angle and teetering on one leg.

ME
I think I've achieved "line-of-sight" to Mount Wilson.
If you follow the angle of my arms to my back, I think
you'll see that I'm pointing Northeast.

WIFE
Oh, my God. I married Radar!

ME
Thanks, Honey.

After using some rope to keep the ladder secure, I rushed back into the family room to look at the screen. Sure enough, the setup menu was showing 90 percent signal strength!

WIFE
Well -- that was exciting. I'm going upstairs.

ME
No, no, no! You can't go now! This is the moment of
truth! Kids! We're ready now -- get in here!

With that, I took a deep breath and tuned the TV to KCBS (channel 60). After a brief pause, the 16:9 screen lit up to the opening credits of Family Law. I'd seen this sequence many times in NTSC, but here it was, playing in my home, looking every bit as sharp as I'd imagined. My older son was impressed.

OLDER SON
Wow. It's like we're at the movies.

WIFE
Okay, I admit it. It's impressive.

I was vindicated! Even my wife noticed the difference! But it couldn't last.

YOUNGER SON
Hey! The people's lips aren't in synch with the words!

He was right. I was so impressed with the picture that I hadn't noticed the out-of-sync audio!

ME
I'm sure they'll fix that soon. Hey, let's turn the
channel and see something else in HD!

One by one we paused at each digital TV (DTV) channel. NBC, ABC, FOX, UPN, KTLA, KCAL and KCET. KCET was the only one transmitting an HDTV program, though to call it a program was a bit of a stretch. It was more like an HDTV demo -- lots of close-ups of birds and flowers. This was not good.

WIFE
Would this be a good time to ask how much we paid
for all this?

ME
There's never really a good time.

WIFE
One channel? That's all we can watch in HD?

ME
Two, if you include the wildlife on KCET.

WIFE
Really? That's great -- I'm off to bed.

OLDER SON
I've got homework.

YOUNGER SON
Me too.

ME
Wait! It'll get better. This is just the beginning!
I need you here!

WIFE
Goodnight, Honey.

As quickly as the old Sony had died in a puff of smoke, my support team evaporated. But time passed, and over the next two weeks I eventually installed the antenna and the dish on my roof, and in the process, I learned a lot.

Here are some pointers for those of you planning to install an HD system at home:

HDTV Is Not for the Faint of Heart

My wife was right; she married Radar. I'm a self-professed gadget freak. I had to work hard to make HDTV a reality in our home. For me that was half the fun. But most people wouldn't want to go through what I went through.

Most Cable Systems Do Not Carry HDTV Signals

As I write this article, I know of only a handful of cable systems across the country that carry HDTV signals. If you have cable TV at home right now, there's a 90 percent chance that you will not be able to receive HDTV with it. My local cable provider claims they'll add HD capability late this year, but I'm not holding my breath.

Satellite Offers Only a Few Channels

If you're a DirecTV or Dish Network subscriber, you're a little better off. Both companies offer one channel each of HBO-HD and Showtime-HD, plus a new channel dedicated only to High-Def called HDNET. Dish also recently added the Discovery Channel in HD. But so far neither DirecTV nor The Dish Network carry local programming in HD.

How's Your Line-of-Sight?

This brings us back to the good old roof antenna -- presently the only way to receive the networks in HD. If you're lucky enough to receive analog broadcasts in your home with a roof antenna, chances are you'll have no problem receiving HDTV signals. Even if your analog reception is a bit iffy, you may have no problem with HDTV. With DTV you either receive the signal in all its HD glory -- or you don't. There's no in-between. However, HDTV signals are in the UHF band, which means that you'll need a UHF antenna to receive the signals, and ... you can lose the signal entirely due to weather interference.

The antenna itself is no big deal. I bought a cheap Radio Shack UHF "Yagi" antenna for $19, and it seems to work fine. But I live in Dana Point, California, which is about 70 miles from both LA and San Diego. I can be watching Judging Amy in glorious HD at 9 p.m., only to watch it fade into a pattern of mosaic tiles at 9:15. Why? Marine layer? Northern lights? Flying saucers? Who knows.

Being Close to the Transmitter Doesn't Guarantee Anything

I've talked to people who live within 10 miles of HDTV station transmitters, but can't receive the signals at all. Apparently that "line-of-sight" phrase has to be taken literally with HD. If you're in a valley or behind a mountain range, you may be out of luck.

How Do I Know What Signals I Can Receive in My Home Before I
Plunk Down the Cash for HDTV?

The big question -- but no easy answer. If someone else on your block is receiving HDTV over the air without a problem, chances are you will too. If you're the first one within a few miles to take the plunge, you'll have to do more homework. Again, if you can receive analog signals in your home without too many problems, you'll most likely be okay with HD signals as well. Your safest bet is to find a retailer who is willing to let you try an HD system in your home to make sure you're not throwing money away. If it doesn't work, you can take the set back.

Was It Worth It?

One of the really frustrating aspects of getting into HDTV so early is the fact that many of the shows that I really want to watch in HD simply aren't available -- like The West Wing, Frazier and Scrubs. On the other hand, The Young and the Restless is transmitted in HD every day. The good news is that about 70 percent of HBO and Showtime programming is in HD, including most movies. But with the exception of The Sopranos, most HBO episodic shows aren't broadcast that way yet, including Sex in the City, Six Feet Under, The Mind of the Married Man and Dennis Miller Live. KCET transmits quite a bit of HD, even if it is an endless loop of demonstration footage (the only place you can watch New Jersey, A Wonderful Place to Live! at full resolution). You can learn more about what's playing in HD in your area at www.titantv.com.

So, how do I feel about taking the HDTV plunge? Well, for a nerdish Radar character like myself, it was worth it. On those rare occasions when the planets are aligned and there happens to be an HD program on the air that I want to watch, the viewing experience is simply spectacular. DVD's look like bad VHS in comparison. Even going to the movies can be a real disappointment unless you're watching a first rate print in a good theater.

My wife is a little less enthusiastic. It bugs the hell out of her to find me watching birds and flowers.

WIFE
Don't you want to watch something of substance?
Something with a storyline?

ME
But this is in HD. I like birds.

Yes, HDTV is now in my home. But my quest is not over. I'm still searching for more channels and programs. In fact, I heard a rumor at NAB that the Discovery Channel will soon transmit HD on DirecTV. This is good news. I will be able to watch HD birds, flowers -- and dinosaurs -- all on the same night.