Icon Crazy: A Look at What May Lie Ahead for Avid Editors by Nick Spark The latest Avid software, 7.0, represents a great advancement over previous versions. Not only is the Avid becoming more powerful, but more user-friendly as well. Avid tells us that even more groundbreaking advances in nonlinear editing technology are just around the corner. Through undercover, inside sources at Avid Technology headquarters, we have received a preview of some of the features currently being considered for later versions of Media Composer and Film Composer, and which might be featured in the Command Palette of the "Avid 2000." Here's a look at what you might expect to find. Autoedit Using advanced algorithms pioneered by famed Karaoke video editor and mathematician Soba Udon, this feature examines and assesses all available footage and then cuts together a sequence. User selects the duration of the sequence and which of 500 possible MIDI soundtracks should be affiliated with the video track. N.B.: Should be used cautiously. Some Autoedit sequences may cause seizures in small children. Calculator Avid 7.0 features a Big Brother-type clock which keeps track of how much time the editor has spent performing various activities. In the Avid 2000 is the editor's revenge: the Calculator. This feature keeps track of the amount of time, energy and money wasted by the writers, producers and director cutting and recutting your "rough cut" to create their "fine cut." Media Off Line Press this handy button and you can customize the "Media Off Line" display on your workscreen. Create your own screen or select from one of five pre-exisiting templates, including "Fire Your Assistant!" "Ha-Ha!" "Nope!" "Media Deceased!" and "Rent More Storage!" (This last one is especially useful when the associate producer is in the room). Joystick This button enables the use of high-fidelity input devices commonly used for video games (including flight-simulator throttles and race-car steering wheels) to be used for Avid control instead of the mouse. Imagine being able to "drive" or "fly" through your edit using programmable keys (such as fire buttons or stick shifts) to make cuts, dissolves and wipes. N.B.: Speeds above Mach 2.0 or 100 m.p.h. can result in audio and video underruns. Java Click on this button and a full menu of caffeine-laced beverages from Starbucks is displayed on your desktop. Click on the desired items, enter a credit card number and press "Fax" and your order is on its way. Menu includes items designed specifically for hard-working editors, such as a feature-length capuccino with four shots of espresso and 16 spoonfuls of sugar. Drinks Similar to Java, this handy button provides a fast reference library for the creation of a variety of mixed drinks to suit every mood, and includes such recipes as "Picture Lock Punch," "Very Sound Mixer" and "Spliced and Diced." Leone A Fistful of Dollars. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. Once Upon a Time in the West. All of these movies feature the exceptional artistry of Italian director Sergio Leone. Not to mention woefully out-of-sync soundtracks. Now the Avid can replicate this beautiful and unique style with the touch of a button. Imagine each clip in your sequence suddenly and mysteriously appearing just a bit out. Voila: a masterpiece! Crash Now that the Avid platform is becoming more and more stable, crashes are few and far between. Yet despite their rotten reputation, crashes can sometimes provide a welcome excuse for a cigarette or coffee break, or allow a hot and heated edit-room discussion to calm down. Using this button, a full-scale crash can be initiated. Options range from mild to full meltdown. If used several times in a week, the Crash feature can provide necessary leverage to change a disagreeable vendor or assistant. A-Bomb Similar to Crash, A-Bomb is to be used only in extreme circumstances: after you have been terminated as editor or when the project has slipped so far from your grasp that it should be euthanized. A-Bomb effectively destroys the entire project and all affiliated media, leaving the desktop resembling a nuclear wasteland. Bad Acting Using advanced method-acting algorithms originally developed by Stanislavsky and only recently declassified by the Department of Defense, this option examines all available footage and detects poor performances. Variables examined include bad motivation, blown lines, lack of believability, etc. Material which is deemed sufficiently poor is labeled, and when played back bears an inspirational banner reading "Please Make My Performance Work." Snap Many editors have been driven insane or, in the case of at least one A.C.E. member, been driven to homicide by directors who insist on "cutting" through finger snaps; e.g., "Cut it right *there* (snap)!" Once activated, this advanced Pavlovian feature punctuates each and every cut in the sequence with a digital "snap." It's maddening enough to drive even the most dogmatic director to the verge of tears. Moose In an effort to make the Avid ever more user-friendly, company software developers have created Sam the Avid moose. A virtual pet who lives inside your project, Sam makes the editing day go by a bit more pleasantly. Feed, bathe and clothe Sam. Watch him grow a handsome head of antlers. In advanced interactive mode, Sam regularly checks in and asks "How's the cut coming?" then offers positive statements like "I like that sequence," "That works!" "The producer is a sissy!" or "Who needs a shark when you've got a moose?"   Nick Spark is an assistant editor.   Reprinted from The Motion Picture Editors Guild Newsletter Vol. 19, No. 6 - Nov/Dec 1998   Guild Home | Newsletter Home | Top of Page   Copyright © 1998, All Rights Reserved by The Motion Picture Editors Guild, IATSE Local 700